Thursday, 20 February 2014

The seven deadly sins of Plus Size

Claire from Monkey See, Monkey Do and I were chatting on twitter the other day about those items of heinous fashion crime you see all too often across the pages of our favourite plus size retailers web sites. We all know how far Plus Size fashion has come in the past few years, but sadly there are still some corkers.

I will do a little disclaimer in the interests of fairness. Some of these items might be beautiful in your eyes, and are from brands I genuinely love, but in my opinion these are the items that set my teeth on edge and send a shudder down my well dressed spine!

1. Butterfly print. 
It's not even the print per se (although it is pretty rank). It's more the frequency of it. It's just always there, like every season, in vast amounts. WHY?!

Weeps a sad, butterfly flourished tear...

2. Bubble Hems. 
Oh bubble hem of doom, so bubbly and elasticated. 

Umm why?

3. Hanky Hem. 
Gypsy madness, there is no place for such a bonkers hemline. It's not big and it's not clever. 

Oh holy fuck. 

4. Cropped combats. 
The mainstay of middle aged women who are trying to be trendy. Add white socks and some sort of comfort shoe for extra sex appeal. 

Shit just got serious...
5. Cold shoulder/cut out tops.
Nothing says Janice Battersby quite like a cold shoulder top. I don't care how trendy they've got, nothing will convince me they are attractive. Sorry. 

No. Just no. 

6. Diamantes. 
No I don't need sparkly tits, my life is pretty sparkly as it is with out making me look like a reject from Strictly Ballroom. 

Time after time. 

7. Ridiculous motif tops. 
Nope. That's all I've got. 

Shit the bed. 

So it's all good pissing and moaning about what I hate, but surely any criticism deserve some kind of helpful recommendations. What do I want to see? And yes this is only me, you might think my nice choices are gross. It's all a matter of personal taste. 


Modern tailoring, strong shapes, bold patterns and colour. That's all I ask. I know it's some people's idea of hell, boxy shapes on a fat chick? Surely not? Well yep, that's what I like and that's what I'm forever seeking! 

Sp hit me guys, what's your most hated garment out there at the moment and what are you forever seeking but can never find in plus size? I can't wait to hear what you've got to say!! 

And don't forget to head over to Claire's blog to see what her most hated plus size clothes are!! 

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23 comments:

  1. I'm with you there on every single item, especially the dreaded bubble hem! So many lovely tops completely ruined by this ridiculous idea!
    Keep up the good work, I love your blogs! :)
    xx

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  2. Arrrgh the bubble hem and hanky hems why oh why do retailers think we want those?!!!! I had two dresses with the cold shoulder detail and got rid of both as they looked odd!! x

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  3. I just loved reading that and laughed through it all - you are so right. I think why - WHY! For me it has to be the combats and the crops dear me I never owned a pair and never will they just look wrong. Maybe its just me because of my big booty and belly but I hate it!

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  4. Ah a fellow hater of the hanky hem - they just looked like the shrunk in a weird way in the wash. Also, who invented the bubble hem?! Why on Earth would you want something elasticated at the bottom?! my mind boggles. xx

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  5. YES! BUBBLE HEMS!! WHYYYY??!?!?!

    I agree on all counts, so many twee pastels/ butterfly prints/ sequins / glitter... Its like they think all plus size want to dress like 7 year olds... I wish they would stop getting focused on hiding our bodies or "flattering" and give us beautiful clothes we can wear with confidence.

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  6. Totally agree with you regarding styling, I've given up on Simply Be and found another online retialer after I went into one of their stores whilst on a break in Antwerp, Belgium. The website is UllaPopken.co.uk and is very muich European styling but you can get some really different pieces. Another is a UK based website Box2.co.uk
    My favourite coat from Ulla Popken has to be this with a toile de jouy print hem to it.
    http://www.ullapopken.co.uk/en/style/coat/682699/
    Both websites don't do cheap clothes (unless you catch their sales) but I can guarantee the fabric is top notch!

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  7. I love this trench coat from Ulla Popken too, best thing is their sizing goes from 16 to size 34/36.
    I like this biker jacket too in quilted navy..http://www.ullapopken.co.uk/en/style/biker-jacket/691597/
    Makes me giggle when I see 'crashed blouse' actually means 'crushed' lol http://www.ullapopken.co.uk/en/style/crashed-blouse/683731/
    Yes some things are ugly, but remember the clothes are targeted at Scandinavian countries as well as Germany, Holland and Belgium etc.
    This one example of not so niceness, a drawstring hemmed skirt...http://www.ullapopken.co.uk/en/style/linen-skirt/683825/
    Then you have the Ulla Popken Lagenlook favoured by Europeans.....http://www.ullapopken.co.uk/en/style/jerseykleid-zipfelsaum-bio-baumwolle/691991/

    As someone who can't wear dresses, I love this whole outfit from Box2.co.uk....http://www.box2.co.uk/plus-size/clothing/outfits/kasbah-snake-print-voile-v-neck-coat-8066.aspx
    What do you think?

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  8. Tops that end just above the pubic bone, (for all those who love to flaunt a camel toe perhaps?) It's the most unflattering length of top EVER! Just another 2 inches, that's all I ask!

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  9. I'm sitting here in my easy step, Velcro fastened comfort shoes, wearing my cropped combats and my cold shoulder top (with butterfly print) crying into my mug of bovril ;)

    I love a good rant, more please xxx

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  10. Three quarter length sleeves that end at the same length as the hem so you look like your top half is a box.

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  11. I can't say i share your taste of what you'd like to see but I totally agree with what you dont want to see. The handkerchief hems and cold sholder tops being the worst of the lot

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  12. I agree too. I get really cross when it is a gorgeous top, everything you want, then you look at the hem..... It's too short, bubble, hanky or any other disgrace....

    I get so excited over the perfect item because plus size retailers seem to always use a dodge pattern too. I want classic items that fit well. That surely is not too much to ask!! (as I continue to search for a good pair of black work trousers - you can tell it has been a frustrating shopping day!)

    Keep up the good work - your blog is most awesome!

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  13. I am never on trend (and don't really care about that), but I was surprised to see that I don't own any of those things, so I guess I must be more savvy for my size than I thought lol
    V
    xxx

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  14. I'm really sad to see this rant and the comments everyone has made, as I like most of these items and wear them regularly!

    I Love bubble hems, they suit people like me who have very large bellies which are out of proportion to the rest of their bodies. Sweatshirts have a banded hem, are on the same lines as a bubble hem and everybody wears them. Bubble hem tops are available in the mainstream fashion market, Next always sells them from size 6 upwards. People of every size want them and wear them.

    I have a few hanky hem tunics which are really flattering and I always receive compliments when I wear them.

    As for butterfly prints, I seek out butterfly prints! I love butterflies and again these are widely available in smaller sizes. As are the graphic prints, which again I love as they help disguise my rolls of fat!

    I hate cropped trousers on anyone, and I hate cold shoulder tops too. BUT, other people do want these items, and as they are available in all sizes and there is a desire for them, it is only right that plus size companies offer them too!

    After reading all of this I feel terrible about how I dress and how other people are viewing me, but do not know what I am supposed to do when I feel that these are the only items that suit me!

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    Replies
    1. KayTee, it really wasn't my intention to offend anyone. It was a bit of fun and a challenge from a friend. They are obviously very popular items otherwise the brands wouldn't stock them, but for me personally and those who commented they are not our cup of tea.

      I'm sure some people hate the way I dress and think it's unflattering or that I shouldn't wear the clothes I wear because of my size. So please don't let my silly blog post and other peoples comments make you feel bad. If you feel comfortable in what you wear then you should continue to feel comfortable.

      I think it's out of frustration that those of us who like less fussy clothes and something with cleaner lines are constantly presented with frilly pretty clothes. I also hate 50s swing dresses, nipped in waists and boleros. That's just my personal taste though. I'm a bit of a tomboy!

      Please, please don't feel terrible x x x

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  15. Said it over on Twitter and I'll say it again, god awful polyester wide leg trousers usually paired with a chiffon bubble hem top. I saw a certain brand actually style a celeb in this combo recently and I was aghast. Cold shoulder tops literally make me cold, so many lovely tops/dresses are ruined by this phenomenon.

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  16. Definitely agree on bubble hems. If I ever get one (usually from a charity shop) then I'll get mum to sort of the hem. Hanky hems I don't mind, I don't automatically pick them but I won't discard them. Same with butterflies. My main pet peeves are trousers being too flared, I prefer straight leg, not enough high-waisted jeans, checked shirts always seem to run several sizes too small. I'm usually a 22 and I know they're non-stretch and I have wide shoulders but I'd like to buy a size smaller than 26 and have it fit... I'd also love there to be more alternative stuff, particularly Goth, lace, velvet, steampunk, plaid etc. What little stuff is out there is mostly skimpy party dress or not a great shape. The main bulk of alt stuff for plus size girls is Rockabilly/50's inspired and while I like some of it it's not my style really.

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  17. I really don't like the cut out sleeve type tops, they give me the shivers!
    Id like to see some nice fitted blazers, something I wore a lot before I was plus size and now all I can find is long droopy shapeless blazers 😞

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  18. Agree, agree, agree and agree!

    I hate tops that have been scaled up or been made with no consideration for the fact I like my breasts to be covered. I have tried on so many tops that have gapping space at the side of my boobs or are so gapping at the front my boobs are just hanging out. I do like a bit of space around my neck etc, but I do not need it to extend beyong my chest. I mean, what are they thinking? Grrrrr!

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  19. Totally with you on all of these - especially the dodgy bubble and hanky hems...seriously?!

    I also hate it when tops are too short or just too wide so it looks like you're wearing a tent!

    Another pet hate is finding a decent shirt, I usually have to go up a size or two because of the gaps between the buttons - don't really fancy sharing with the world what bra I happen to be wearing! x

    Sarah @ sarahlouxo.com xx

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  20. Every top/dress having a round neck. It's really not flattering, ad agree with Molly above that there seems to be an assumption that plus size girls automatically have massive tits that are begging to be on display. I know what will be flattering to my shape but it seems so hard to find. At least the bubble hems are confined to one or two items in the shops now rather than a couple of years ago when it seemed they were EVERYWHERE!

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Thank you for your comment, I love reading what everyone has to say! B x