Friday, 17 January 2014

Call to arms...

There are some swears in here, some rambling non-points, but it wouldn't be the Ramblings of Mrs BeBe without them. So sorry in advance.

I don't know if its a full moon, something in the water or the fever of that obesity epidemic (be careful kids, don't sit near a fat chick, you might catch it). But the trolls have been out in force this week terrorising my fellow fats with their chants of "unflattering" and "there are certain things plus size women shouldn't wear".

And I'm sorry if I'm becoming a bore with this, but I will not stand for it. I appreciate we all have our achilles heel when it comes to dressing our bodies. And that goes for slim, short, tall, fat and everything in between. I get that, I truly do. Mine is my orange peel legs, I hate them, they suck, so I choose, where possible, to not show them, because that is my comfort zone. That's how I make myself feel rocking when I leave the house. 

But, if one of my fellow blogging beauties, who have taken the time to dress up, take pictures, write a thought out blog post, and make themselves visible in the first place want to show off their lumpy, bumpy legs, or arms or tummy's or any other body part then that, my friends, is their choice. If you don't like the garment they are wearing and would like to feed that back to the brand, that it is indeed not your personal "cup of tea" then please, be my guest. BUT if you have some issues with their body, their choice to wear said garment or any other personal matter to them, then I strongly suggest you keep that opinion to yourself.  It's cruel, it's unnecessary and you're only doing it because of some internalised issues you have with yourself/fat people/whatever.

Something we all need to remember, me included. 


The saddest part of this is that, in the majority of the cases of this disgusting behaviour this week, these "opinions" have come from other plus size women on the Facebook pages of plus size brands. More than anyone these women should understand how brave it is for a fellow fatty to make a bold fashion statement. Every time we step out the house we are judged, people make massive assumptions about our lifestyles based on our physical appearance. We're expected to dress in black, baggy tents, live on lettuce and exercise at least an hour a day until we're thin enough to be socially acceptable. You'd think the one group of people we'd get a bit of break from would be those of a similar physical appearance to us. Seems that's not the case. 

I'm a little bit sad, mad and disappointed really. Can we all just stop being dicks to each other? Please? 

Oh and to the person who was nice enough to suggest we're all part of the "obesity epidemic apologists" club, I'd just like to know if that's and official thing and do we get a badge and a lard butty when we sign up? Because you can count me the fuck in. 

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10 comments:

  1. Fab post. I bet pesky chloe could make us all some smashing badges! Xxx

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  2. Who the bloody hell said that we are all obesity epidemic apologists? Because they can fuck right off, get a life and crawl out of the obviously insecure and unstable hole from which they came! Personally I find it bloody empowering that we have confidence, take pictures and are not afraid to show them on the internet? How many can say the same and why the hell shouldn't we?

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  3. Sorry for having a mini swear rant there ;)

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  4. This week has made me SO angry. First Debz's onesie, then Betty's robot legs and I heard there was something going on on the Simply Be page too? I don't know what but it does seem there's something in the water!

    There's something about the internet which makes perfectly normal(?) people turn into keyboard warriors, judgemental idiots and rude bigots. Of course there are always nice people commenting on these photos as well, but it's always the crappy comments that stick, isn't it?

    It comes as no surprise to me that many of the people posting these comments are fat women, or women who used to be fat. I've been a 'watcher' of the fat-o-sphere if you will before I was a participant and have a lot of fellow fat women in my Facebook friends (non blogging, I hasten to add.) The comments I tend to see from them whenever there's a tv programme on about fat people shock me rigid. It seems to be the case that when a fat person dares move out of expected behaviour - not being a wallflower, not wearing black sacks - the un-confident fat women try to knock the confidence out of the rad fatties and knock them back down to their level of misery and self hatred. It's actually quite sad. In situations like this I always come back to this saying: "Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up."

    Without knowing it, those ladies really need body positivity, and they need it now. They could do a LOT worse than reading the blogs of the women they're slagging off. They might learn something. x x

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  5. Sweary comment warning:

    I couldn't agree more. I'm now in my mid forties and have the attitude, "Fuck you, I won't wear what you tell me." I wonder at what point in our lives do people choose to become so judgemental, and what makes them think it is acceptable to stand in the blogosphere and point and harshly critique someone you don't even know. Seems my nan was right … if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say it at all. Here's to all the brave plus size fashion bloggers in the world who have enough balls not to let the haters win. Keep going ladies … a silent army marches behind you.

    www.uandmii.co.uk

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  6. I'm so sick of the hate and I know people say 'don't feed the trolls' but why should we not? We need to not inflict our own insecurities on to others!

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  8. I love T's comment of "fuck you I won't wear what you tell me" reminds me of the Rage Against the Machine song which is kind of apt!

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  9. I was so annoyed this week, I had to comment on Betty and Debz photos. I know people say don't feed the trolls, but there are times when we have to stand up and be counted, because staying silent is tacit accpetance of the hatred. What appalled me the most was that from some of the profile pics, it seemed apparent that most of the women were old enough to be mothers and grandmothers. I know age is no sign of maturity, but they surely must know the hurt that words can cause? How would they like their childeren or gandchildren to face that kind of bile? I'm still waiting for one of the particularly offensive witches to rise to my challenge and post her photo on the Yours page, so that complete strangers can rip her apart too. As most bullies are cowards, I'm not going to hold my breath. Swear and rant away Becky, as long as it's not the c word - makes me blush lol. The louder we shout the more impact we can make xx

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  10. Agreed I follow a lot of plus fashion blogs and really not every thing is to my taste nor would I wear a lot of what i see, However, Those are my tastes and my insecurities and I follow one of the best rules of interpersonal communication ever. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then keep your damned mouth shut"
    Even if a blogger asks for criticism they men for it to be constructive, just saying I hate your format is not constructive, I wish you would change your font its hard to read or whatever is much more helpful, and then only if you were asked for your opinion. People seem to think just because its on a public forum it means they can say anything but I beg to differ rules of general courtesy applies no matter if you are in public private or on the web.

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Thank you for your comment, I love reading what everyone has to say! B x