Sunday, 22 April 2012

My Big Fat Voice....


All too often, associating in the circles I do on twitter & Facebook, I hear of how plus size women are frequently subjected to verbal abused in public. I myself have been subjected to such fat jibes for as long as I can remember, I mean honestly, at what point was it ok to shout abuse at another human being in the street? And more importantly at what point will it stop? 

In recent months, having found blogging, the fatosphere and having been inspired by so many fabulous women I seem to have found my big fat voice. 

Over Christmas I was enjoying a meal with my husband, a group of lads across from us were becoming more & more vocal when one of them commented on a chap as he passed by... " look at that fat bastard" "he's such a fat c**t (sorry I just can't write it, I'm totally ok with saying though as you'll soon see) 
The guy continued walking, I however was now gunning for a fight and if I'm completely honest, willing them to say something to me. Low and behold, he did. "Look at that fat bitch in the corner stuffing her face".... Well, that was it! I replied, "I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" he looked and winced, I carried on "yes, hello? Me, the fat bitch in the corner, well you know what sweetheart, I could lose weight if I wanted to, but you're always going to be c**t", and with that they swiftly downed their pints and left. I felt quite euphoric, how dare they? How dare they make people feel like that? But I guess in hindsight I question whether I'm just as bad, should I have left it? Should I have ignored him? Two wrongs do not make a right? Maybe. 

A few weeks ago I found myself subjected to another comment whilst walking home, two teenage lads shouted across the street "god your arse is massive" to which I joyfully replied "I know, glorious isn't it?!" leaving them dumbstruck. This response I felt much better about, I felt I'd turned a negative into a positive. 

What I have taken from both experiences is that no longer, when being abused by another human being, will I walk on by, go home and sob about my experience. I will always try to respond best I can at the time. Because it is NOT ok for these "people" and I use that term loosely, to make others feel that way, to comment on things they know nothing of and to cause misery and pain. 


Hey mister... I'm fat, I know I am, I'm ok with this. My body is my business, my health is no concern of yours, I'm here, I'm visible and there's nothing you can do about it, keep your vile "opinions" to yourself. 


29 comments:

  1. Can I just say, you're a beautiful woman! absolutely stunning :) People will always be C, U Next Tuesday's and unfortunately there's not a lot you can do about it :( xox

    Love your blog! x

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    1. Aww thanks doll!!! There's not a lot we can do, but we can certainly let them know!! ;) xxx

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  2. I agree with both your responses! Yes sometimes it can be seen as lowering ourselves to their level but they way I see it is that I'm just as entitled to defend myself as they are with saying it. I don't hold back sweet. I got "slim fast!" shouted at me and a friend last week and I used the c word with him!

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    1. Good on you!! These idiots have no right at all!! xxxx

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  3. FUCK YEAH! I wish I had your badassness. Once in Manchester, some teenage bitch wanted to take a sneaky picture of me and my husband eating a crepe. Should've gone all Chris Martin over her. And another time, also in Manchester - you can guess why I'm not going to Plus North now -, this little holding her mother's hand passed by and made piggie noises. I flipped her the bird, but I wish I could have kicked her or something. If only it wasn't illegal! But yay. Flip the bird, and if you can't raise your big fat fist, at least raise your big fat voice! xx

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    1. HA! Thanks lady, I've only been bad ass for about 6 months!! The amount of abuse I took for years from total strangers, winding car windows down and shouting FAT BITCH out of the window, comments from strangers whilst I was eating, disgusting comments from so called colleagues, the lot. But I refuse to be spoken to like that now!! xxx

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  4. And both of your responses were amazing. Two wrongs whatever ever. Always defend yourself.

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  5. I love this post, all too often I feel embarrassed and try to pretend it hasn't happened when I should stick up for myself. Yeah fuck em!

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    1. I don't expect everyone to be the same and it is hard to muster up a response, but god if you think you can, bloody well sock it to 'em!!! xxxx

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  6. Go Becky!! I haven't had a lot of this thankfully, the odd time from the odd idiot but nothing to the extent others I have heard about recently have received! These idiots, don't think of the effect they're having, it's all about appearing to be Billy Big Bollocks to their mates, very very childish and downright ignorant!

    Arseholes the lot of em!

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    1. Very true, a lot of the time it is gang mentality, but whatever circumstances its NEVER right. So glad you've not had much of it, it sucks big ones when it does happen though xxxx

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  7. You are STUNNING - end of. I bet your arse IS glorious :)

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  8. You are fabulous inside and out. I love that you told them off at bar and really loved your response about your glorious arse.
    I had some ass at the mall holler at me when I was already walking to my car. The douches were younger and squealing off in their truck. Was quite a blow to the self-esteem as I was already feeling pretty low about how I looked that day. They were gone before I could tell them to fuck off.

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    1. This is what I'm talking about, what gives them the right to make another person to feel like that? Arseholes!! X x

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  9. Damn right mate. Us fellas get it too. I find with my 6ft and broad shoulders I can smile and start to follow them and keep smiling they start to shit themselves and speed up.

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    1. Very true Jon, I think guys can get it worse because people think they'll just take it, oh the big guy can take it. I'm glad you use your size to your advantage, you know I think your amazing, love you loads x x

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  10. Last weekend after a morning of rushing about I bought a sausage roll for lunch, I know, not very healthy but was in a hurry with 2 kids in tow. Walking past group of young men outside a pub one of them looks at me herding girls & eating and shouted GREGS! & they all feel about laughing. Obviously their shorthand for fat woman eating sausage roll. A few years ago that would have made me go home & cry, but I gave him the finger. Like you said, I can always lose weight, they will always be a dickhead.

    Good for you x

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    1. Ha ha, so glad you gave them the finger the little shits!!! X

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  11. With the current rhetoric from politicians and the press concerning overweight people being a drain on the NHS, the more this is going to happen. It's no longer acceptable to ridicule people on their race, religion or sexuality but it's absolutely fine to show candid shots of fat people trudging along the high street or shoving a pasty in their mouths on the BBC news with a voice over about the NHS. And the worship of the skinny is as bad as ever, so the youngsters of today are growing up with the idea of fat=bad/greedy. I can't seem to switch the tv on without seeing some fat person being humiliated for the entertainment of others, from This Morning to Britain's Got Talent to 'fat jokes' about the size of Heather's coffin on Eastenders.

    My main insults come not from strangers but from people I know. From my son's friends insulting my appearance, to 'friends' telling me the reason I'm tired is because I need to lose weight so no point going to the Drs (nope, I'm anaemic which last time I checked was not caused by fatness), or another asking if I really wanted to be 'so fat someone needs to wipe your arse'? I find it harder to know what to say to people I know. Strangers I can ignore but being insulted by friends is harder to swallow.

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    1. You're completely right, it's become acceptable to ridicule people because of their appearance, but I also feel an uprising from the fat community too, we will be heard and respected!! And you're right it is harder when it comes from friends, all I can suggest is that you thank them for their input but suggest they keep their uneducated hurtful opinions to themselves!! X

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  12. I hope by sharing our bursts of "take no shit" attitude that it inspires others to stand up for themselves in a bad situation. :D <3

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    1. Me too Lolly I was inspired by our conversation and several others flying around these past few weeks!! xx

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  13. Amen girl!
    I have to say that people are the same everywhere you go and it's not only with big women. At least where I live people tend to stare if you're too fat, or too skinny, too tall or too short. Basically, people stare and talk whenever you stand out from the crowd. I've never had someone on the street saying something about me (at least to my face) but I have stares every day and I just stare back or just hold my head up high and walk even more confidently.
    And you know what? In my experience, most of the people that have problems with fat people where once fat or are constantly fighting they're weight. They’re unhappy people and in the end THEY have a problem, not me.

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    1. I think that's been the general consensus, these people really do have problems and they are projecting them on others! xx

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  14. Too bluddy right! I love both of your responses...I used to get really upset about things being yelled at me in the street but I will stick up for myself and respond back however I feel at the time. People can't expect to dish it out and not expect anything back off it!

    Only just found your blog - love it :) xx

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    1. Thanks Sarah, so glad you're fighting back too!! WOOOOO!! xx

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  15. You rock missus! I think you handled yourself bloody well in both cases. How I react depends on who I'm with and how I feel that day. Once when going into a restaurant with my family some knuckle-dragging Neanderthal said to his mates 'I don't fancy yours much!' while waving his arm in my direction. Had I been on my own I'd have told him to go and procreate with himself, but since my aunt had reserved a table I had to let it fly.

    Another time I was waiting outside a shop for hubby to get the paper when a woman came out of the shop and slowly looked me up and down. Twice. I said 'I know I'm fabulous but there's really no need to stare!' Her nose was so far in the air if it'd rained she would've drowned.

    I've had quite a few things thrown at me from moving cars as well. Once a car load of teenage knobbers threw a whole McDonalds coke at me. It was so full the lid didn't come off and I just caught it. I peed myself laughing at the thought of the idiots having to go all the way round the one way system to go and get another one. Hahaha.

    Another time two teenage girls started following me and hubby through the shopping centre. They got so close behind us it was indecent then yelled 'That is disgusting!' and walked off. Thankfully I knew I looked effing awesome that day so I brushed it off, but had I been having a bad day I'd have been upset. The only reason I didn't retaliate was because I was due on, and I knew if I said what I wanted to (the C word x 100) I'd have been chucked out of the shopping centre!

    Here's to the fat uprising! x x

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Thank you for your comment, I love reading what everyone has to say! B x