Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Me and my blog.....

I've started to write this blog a hundred times over. And have deleted it as many times. Partly because I don't want to get dragged into what I can only class as drama, and partly because I don't think I need to justify myself. BUT, obviously there is a part of me that does and a part of me that wants to contribute, and besides, this is my blog so I can talk about whatever the heck I like!!!

Now let's get a few things straight. I'm pretty new to this blogging malarky so my observations might be ill informed and for that I apologise.

It would seem that some people feel there is some discord in the community, and honestly? No I don't think there is. On the whole I've been met with warmth, enthusiasm and generosity. As with any large gathering of people, there are the odd few who are less than warm, not particularly enthusiastic and well.... a bit bloody rude at times, but such is life!!! In all communities, be it your neighbourhood, school, work there are bound to be clashes in personality, difference of opinion and general annoyance at other peoples conduct.

There is no rule book for blogging, if there is I'd like to see a copy please. If someone wants to shout about their stats from the rooftops that's their decision, I can pretty much guarantee its not bragging, in most cases it's sheer amazement that that amount of people have bothered to stop by and read their ramblings *ahem* so to speak, and utter pride (quite rightly so) that what started out as throwing thoughts into the ether has grown into something quite different.

Along with that success sometimes does come the offer of working with brands, and yet again it's down to the individual if they accept that offer. Don't frown upon some for it, and if a blogger approaches a brand and says, "hi, I have a blog, I'm pretty proud of it, if you happen to read it and like it, and maybe want to work together in the future" the so be it, I'm a firm believer that if you don't blow your own trumpet in this life, no bugger will.

A blog can be many things, a blog can evolve into many things, and for some much quicker than they imagined.

For me I started blogging because as for most I'd been influenced by so many strong, stylish, witty women, I'd also been inspired by some truly awful blogs to do better too!!! I've had a deep love of fashion since I was a child, and having been plus size all my life had had to find creative ways to recreate those fashions not available to fit a plus body. I'd also had a very bad relationship with said body and wanted to try and build a good relationship with it by taking photos, forcing myself to look at it, enjoy it and realise it wasn't the hideous mess I thought it was.

I feel privileged to receive every single view I get, every comment made, every mention, RT, compliment and yes, every invite & piece of clothing too.

So what now? I'll continue to do what I do because I love it, it completely and utterly rocks my world, and what should "we" do? Just be nice to each other, it's really not that hard. At worse be polite, civil? As good old Jerry Springer once said.... Be good to yourself, and each other.....

35 comments:

  1. Well said, it can be tough for someone starting out and I know some experienced bloggers can be rude or abrupt sometimes about things that they assume others to already know.

    At the end of the day its YOUR blog and you can say whatever the eff you want!

    I really hope no one has been negative to you, your blog is lovely and is one of the few plus size blogs I actually enjoy reading. Don't let the negativity get to you, and if you ever need cheering up for a kind ear, give me a shout.

    (hugs)

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  2. Thank you for posting this. you are braver than me. xx

    Our Blogs, and by our I mean everyone who blogs, are 100% personal, and how we work with brands, write our posts is our choice, the blogging world is not a controlled zone there are no managers or police who tell us what is right and what is wrong, that is up to us as individuals to decide.

    I am proud of my stats which in comparison to nearly all other blogs out there are miniscule, and I will continue to be proud of them. xx

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  3. Good post! Never be afraid to express yourself. This is YOUR blog & if folks dont like it dont read it! From my limited contact with you, youve always been sweet & nice to me. It makes me feel welcomed b/c as a new blogger Im alittle shy to say "Hi" to the more established folks. Thank you for being welcoming!!!

    My blog is my personal journey to self love & I have no plans on becoming the next big blogger. If I inspire one person to love themselves, then Im satisfied.

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  4. Great post. " if you don't blow your own trumpet in this life, no bugger will." So true. Looking forward to meeting you at plus north. X

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  5. Here, here! Or do I mean Hear!,Hear? Either way I'm sure the grammar police of blog world will set me straight, just as other bloggers feel the need to belittle 'personal' bloggers. Your sentiment is spot on. It took me a while to get there, but it's a great place to be...Confident of your own opinion.

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  6. THANK YOU BECKY!!! I wanted to post something like this myself, but wasn't brave enough cos I'm so new to this community.

    I also think that everyone seems to be really nice, warm and welcoming in this community, except a few people who seem a bit rude towards me. I hope that I didn't seem rude to anyone in Plus London Two, I'm just not that good in small talk that I might seem distant and rude.

    LOVE TO YOU HUN!!! xx

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  7. Really well said, I agree with every point :) xx

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  8. Here here!! I was in fact intending to write a similar sort of post given the hoohah that has been talked up a storm of late, so wont bore you too much with my own opinion, apart from that I think a person's blog and other connected arenas are for that person to do what they want with. For me, there's definitely a community, so I really don't get this 'where has it gone?' malarkey!

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  9. I think everything you've said I agree with. I certainly don't want any other bloggers to be unhappy and i wish everyone well. If i dont get something it doesnt matter but if somebody else does i think good for them. If I have learnt anything it's that life is short and only you can determine what you get out of it. I think hard work and positivity ALWAYS pays off in the end. xXx

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  10. Well said i dont want ro comment too much as ive been very mich involved in blog drama o late although i certainly didnt intend it.

    Its your blog an u should b proud i had 20000 views so far this month which if anything astounds me! Keep blowing ur own trumpet love lifes too short not to!!

    Xxx

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  11. "Just be nice to each other, it's really not that hard." My tagline on Google+ is "Play Nice". A simple phrase that says oodles.

    So many blogs, so many personalities, so many wonderful people. Unfortunately like any other group of similar minds (those who blog) there are cliques and with cliques almost always comes judgement and superiority complexes. I think it is important to find other bloggers we feel a camaraderie with but I also think it is important not to snap at the ones we don't. Unfortunately over the years I have witnessed a lot of snapping. The internet is a huge ocean and there is lots of room for everyone and how they want to run their blog(s).

    As Nelly said, I really hope no one was negative to you. If they were it is more of a reflection on them than it is on you.

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  12. You should definitely blow your own trumpet, blogs like yours inspired me to embrace my size and have the confidence to start my plus size 'fashion' blog. I think there are far more welcoming people than those who put you down too. :)

    Jess xo
    http://lifeonthelargeside.blogspot.co.uk/

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  13. Here here! When I first started I completely rambled on to no one. I dont have hoards of people reading mine, but I enjoy posting random pictures and blogs about things that I find relevant. People can also read if they so wish! I talk alot of nonsense but thats me :)

    I think your a terrific blogger Becky, defo one of my faves xx

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  14. Thank you, each and every one of you. I really do love being part of such a great community, you're all bloomin' lovely!!
    Normal Service will be resumed tomorrow.

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  15. Just last night I was thinking of posting something just like this on my blog, but you've said it all so much better than I ever could! Why can't everyone get along? I honestly don't think there's much discord among bloggers. I haven't experienced any, other than people who try to start up drama. And everyone's blogs are their own, so there's no need for people with superiority complexes to try to direct the rest of us. So well done for speaking up. I totally agree with everything you said, and think you're fabulous. :)

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  16. I don't really know much about what's been going on and been said, but I think this is a great post. We all have our own reasons for writing our blogs and everyone is different. I've been blogging for years and never had any negativity, I've only recently started blogging my outfits and the few comments I have had have been brilliant. If people get freebies and so on, I've no issue with that at all (maybe a bit of jealousy!) but like I say, we all have our own reasons and motives for doing what we do and I'm glad to see such a mix of people putting their ramblings out there.

    Quite honestly, I don't know where I'm going with this rambling, but keep doing what you're doing! X

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  17. Thank you for saying it... It is exactly how I've been thinking over the past month or so, with additional fractures showing in the recent weeks...

    Thank you, thank you, thank you xx

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  18. hi there. i read lots of blogs. i don't have one. i am also on twitter, but only lurk there, i like reading the fashionyness of it all. i feel like a member of the gang - just a silent one. i think lots of the points made by other bloggers have been pretty valid.
    for real though, i can only remember one really nasty thing i've seen in the last few months. it was on twitter and you said it. a girl (a new blogger i think) thought she'd been invited to a simply be store night as a special guest as opposed to general guest. after her tweet (which was not general, but addressed to simply be) you basically laughed at her and pointed her out. 
    you were like "OMG, did anyone else just see that?" ... and then... "please tell me someone else saw that - SPECIAL GUEST!!?" 
    you tweeted about it a few times. you weren't being nice at all. basically she was pretty new, she made a simple mistake and you decided to point her out and laugh. for someone like me (lurker/reader) it was off putting. it was probably also really hurtful to that girl. i hope she never saw it. i think you probably pointed her out to feel good about yourself. i wonder how that girl felt after you laughed at her? what do you think? do you think she felt good about herself? did you care? do you now? i mean, your tweets, afterall, weren't a harmful joke. they were just mean and spiteful really.
    i think a lot of the points being made elsewhere are pretty valid. they also seem to be trying to bring people together. you are defensive so all you can see is negativity. you can't see what other people are trying to say. your post is also true though, you can do what the hell you like here and obviously on your twitter too.

    you'll try and justify yourself now about your tweet to that girl (who you were mean to). but all i'll say is she was new and you gave her no grace to make a mistake. how inclusive is that? how nice is that? i guess as you say in your post, you'll do what the heck you want. probably something else you learned from jerry springer.

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    1. Nope, not at all, you're completely right, I probably was harsh. She was spamming people left, right and centre, including me, constantly asking for RT's but not engaging with anyone, so when I saw what she said to simply be it was the straw that broke the camels back, yes I'm human and sometimes I have a bitch. I hold my hands up. Thanks for your input x x

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  19. A fantastic post. I've just stumbled across your blog via Clare at bigbeautyblog.com
    This post is well said, especially the bit about blowing your own trumpet - you've just got to do it sometimes xx

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  20. Well said!
    I'm glad someone has finally cleared the air.
    Bloggers are individuals, therefore are all different. I'm sure many of us blog for different reasons, personally I blog for enjoyment, somewhere to express myself & it's always nice to get opinions from other people!
    I think it's time that all of us stop judging other blogs and their reasons for blogging. If people want to do reviews, adverts etc. that's their choice? and more to the point if the brands are willing to take part, then leave them to it!
    Charlotte xx

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  21. Thank you again, one and all for your feedback (even the challengers, we all need taking down a peg or two in our time) I love hearing from you, it means the world to me. Thank you x x

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  22. Plumpy asked me to come look at her comment.
    Without being rude to you, your post is very aggressive. I'm a reader and find this startling as something I'm coming here to read. I've not seen anything lately from anyone saying "THESE ARE THE RULES OF BLOGGING" or whatever. More just people saying they wish things were less aggressive. This is aggressive! It makes me wonder if you're really blogging because you like clothes, because if you are, this is defensive and weird. I'm surprised and wish I hadn't come to look at my friend's comments. I live near Leeds and was gonna try for Plus North too, but I'm so disappointed. You talk about being nice but you aren't being nice. You're aggressive and I'm your reader and I'm so upset now.

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    1. Hi there,

      I am genuinely sorry it's made you feel like that, it was not my intention for one second. I didn't see it as aggressive, and I'm so sorry if that's how it has come across, if you knew me you would know I am the worlds least aggressive person, and that my heart is my mouth as I write this.

      I really don't know what else to say other than that really.

      B x

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    2. This comment felt pretty heartfelt and then I read your twitter back tonight. Seeing others call me and my friend "haters" and "anonymous" is pretty upsetting. Maybe it's only your twitter friends who TALK to you who count? At least you and the others have made it clear how you feel about "anonymous" readers. You know most of us are anonymous right? I never insulted you. I found the post aggressive and it upset me, I was shocked and I told you. That's possibly how it is for lots of your anonymous readers. You know? Us ones who don't count. Thanks for making it clear.

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    3. Look here, they said those things. Not me, I was naturally upset at yours and your friends comments because I am a human being and one with mental health issues at that so negativity effects me deeply, hence the post in the first place. You are quite rightly entitled to your opinion and I would like to think I have dealt with them quite graciously. The reason they were calling you anonymous is because you haven't signed in with an ID, I'm not quite sure why this is bothering you. I can again only apologise that my original post made you feel the way it did and subsequently my friends comforting me also had an effect on you.
      I suggest if in the future you don't like the interactions between me & my friends you stop reading them, as you friend plumps pointed out, these weren't addressed to you so maybe it's not your place to comment on them.
      What started out as you and your freind expressing your opinions is fast becoming a case of harassment against me, two wrongs do not make a right and you seem to be as bad as you *think* I am. So I suggest we leave it at that. Agreed?

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  23. Hi BeBe,

    Thank you for writing this. It's certainly put some things in perspective. We all try to be nice to others but sometimes we're human and react to others comments in an honest manner. I don't feel that this post was aggressive, just honest.
    I hope that you all continue to blog and mooch about together online. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Thanks again!
    Mrs S xxx

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  24. I don't think this is an agressive post, sometimes you have to see all of a conversation before judging. But hey, we all have different opinions and that's ok.

    I would like to say that I recently met Becky for the first time at a Simply Be store opening. I'm a new blogger and didn't know anyone there and Becky made me feel included. I was standing on my own looking anxious at one point and she did a little look and hand movement to say 'come over, join us' that was so nice because I'd been thinking about running away home up until then. She's been nothing but warm, friendly and supportive to me and my tiny blog! Just wanted to say that because I wouldn't want her to feel demonised or like a bad person.

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    1. Thanks P, :') you're so sweet. Much love xxxx

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  25. I am a total blog lurker and I found your blog through a Five Take post on A Monkey Fatshionistas blog. (No idea how I found her but it's like tiny bread crumbs - each leading to good blog after good blog). I think I found the whole plus size blogging thing one time when I wasn't sure if someone my size should wear jeggings (how unconfident is that?) and I googled "fat people in jeggings".

    I found Fat Nurse and then it opened my eyes and I have been secretly stalking plus size bloggers ever since. I don't really follow many of you on Twitter but that's probably because I'm useless at remembering to follow people on there.

    Anyway, the first I heard of this kind of chat was on Monkey's blog the other day and I have to say that you're completely right. Just concentrate on yourself, your posts and support the blogs you like to read. Obviously rude/show off/dull bloggers are going to do your head in at times but it's best to just let it go.

    Life's too short and if you all started moaning about other blogs/things getting you down I would miss the nice outfit posts and you'd be one lurker down.

    Ps. I wish I had the confidence to start a blog and I did buy a pair of jeggings in the end.

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    1. Thanks Julia, I'm glad you've found plus blogging useful, occasionally we like to cover things other than fashion, but it doesn't always go down too well. You win some, you lose some. X x

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  26. You know what? No matter what you do, there is always going to be someone who gets shitty at you for whatever reason. Do what you want to do with your blog. Act with integrity and be honest. Nobody can ask more of you than that. The rest is up to you and if anyone complains, tough. They can go start their own blog and do whatever they want to do.

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    1. Kath, you're always the voice of reason! you rock xxxx

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  27. Really great post Mrs! Im new to the blogging world myself and the thing I am least looking forward to is negativity. I'm not particularly self confident but realise doing this sort of thing exposes you to a whole host of people who will take pleasure in picking you apart. I do feel that I am part of a community now though and no matter what happens having the support of fellow bloggers and the potential to make new friends from it far out weighs the few harsh comments of small minded people. I can totally relate to what you said about starting the blog as a way to learn to love yourself a little more. That is exactly why I have started this, not for the brand recognition or invitations to events. I just want to put my love of fashion and beauty out there and learn about myself along the way. thank you for voicing some of the things that have been on my mind lately. You're awesome!! x

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    1. Hi Laura!! Thanks for your sweet comments, I just needed to have a ramble and a muse about things that had been on my mind too!! So glad it struck a chord!! Good luck with blogging the good really does far outweigh the bad, its such good fun!!
      xxxxxxx

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Thank you for your comment, I love reading what everyone has to say! B x