Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Blog therapy...

People blog for many reasons, to feed a passion, as an outlet, to promote a cause or message, to promote a business, to get free stuff (come on admit it) or to to earn a living.

I started mine predominantly because I'd been inspired by other plus-size blogs, to show off my style, regardless and possibly in spite of my size, as the months have passed it's developed and grown into something else.

I was diagnosed with Bi-polar about 7 years ago having suffered with depression many years prior to this, and despite fighting my condition and living without medication for 4 years the bastard has caught up with me again, I guess it never went away, but of late I just can't run as fast as I could! So I guess my blog has become a form of therapy, an escape from the daily grind, a lighthearted outlet, a distraction.

It's also given me a much needed boost of confidence in terms of my body image and personal style. I've always struggled with my perception of my body image and after years of unhealthy eating habits and vicious cycles of starvation and binge eating my weight reached 24 stone. My self loathing led me to the doctors where I eventually convinced them I needed a gastric bypass. That was over four years ago. Through hard work, pain, vomit and stress I lost 7 stone, but I still wasn't happy and started slipping back into bad habits again and I guess that's where blogging stepped in. Slowly but surely I'm beginning to like me, and my body and accept it. Now I try to eat what I want, when I want, I know when I'm full, and I don't tell myself off for every single mouthful of food I eat.

I'm not looking for congratulations for my weightloss, it was hard, it was scary and I'll forever be scarred both physically and mentally by the experience, I just wish I could have realised sooner that as long as I'm sensible, and enjoy food for what it is and that I'm not answerable to anyone else regarding my body and what goes in it, I'd have saved myself years of heartache and self abuse.

Wow....sorry I rambled on immensely. Who'd have thought fashion could be so profound? ;0)

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this, I have no Idea what my depression involves, and blogging is my therapy too. xxxx

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  2. I've struggled for years too - since l was in single figures age wise, in fact. I've been feeling a bit down too, l don't think the shorter days help at all. I've felt a bit more positive since bit being less hung up on what l eat, but its not easy to change a lifetime of habits.

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  3. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure many have had similar experiences and reading your blog will help to convince them that there is light at the end of the tunnel x

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  4. Thank you for sharing, I don't think its bad to show the real bits on the blog, it helps us readers get to know you, understand you and love you.

    I have never suffered with depression but I can definitely identify with the relationship with food. I have finally got to a point where I am happy enough with my body (size 18-20) so I am clinging to it!

    xxxx

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  5. Thank you for sharing. I find sometimes talking about things, being open and honest about things helps me. I suffer from Borderline & Bipolar, and I know my blog has helped on both my mental health and body acceptance.

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  6. Wow, thanks everyone for your positive comments and those of you experiencing similar for sharing that. You're all fabulous!! xxxxx

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  7. I think it's good to share some of yourself with your readers. After all it's your blog, so use it for what suits you best - inside (fears and dreams)and out (fashion)!
    Take care x

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  8. Thanks Lucy, valid points!! xx

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Thank you for your comment, I love reading what everyone has to say! B x